Day trading was his mistress
Hayden sees many forms of financial infidelity in her practice, most of it harmless — at least at first. She says women in particular are often advised to keep a secret stash of cash on hand “just in case.”
“There’s a Yiddish word, ‘knipl,’ for little pots of money that have been used over the years by women,” she says. “That’s why when you clear out the house of an old woman, you go through all the pockets of all the coats and look through all the important books like the Bible, because there are little pots of money everywhere. Somehow, there is the illusion of safety if I can tuck away a $20 here and a $50 there.”
In fact, women are more likely than men to stray financially (33 percent vs. 26 percent), in part because they tend to oversee the household budget (41 percent vs. 21 percent), according to the 2005 Harris Interactive survey that sampled 1,796 adults between the ages of 25 and 55 and was commissioned by Redbook magazine and lawyers.com.
When sparks fly over money, it usually involves individual purchases (50 percent), general household budget (45 percent), credit card debt (32 percent) or spending on the kids’ toys and clothes (26 percent).
Some financial infidelities may be well-intentioned. Perhaps you secretly save money to surprise your partner on a birthday or your anniversary. Or you tuck away some cash as a safety net for a spouse who has trouble holding on to the stuff.
But even well-intentioned hoarding can backfire, as Hayden found out 36 years ago when she secretly saved to buy her husband a special present on their second Christmas together.
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